Courting dating same thing

I have known lots of girls who haven’t committed themselves to courtship and yet, they don’t date just for fun; they only date guys who seem like good husband material, they involve their parents in their decision making and they do everything possible to keep their relationships pure.

Last week, I asked you to give me your most burning love questions. More than 100 of you left us a comment with a question about love and romance. Mars asked, “I hear the word ‘courting’ a lot in opposition to ‘dating.’ What are the differences between the two and which relationship is the better of the two? Courtship and dating are words that are thrown around a lot on this blog.

I think Mars is right, that it is important that we know if there’s a difference between the courtship and dating and understand if one is better than the other when placed through the filter of God’s Word. For many, courtship feels like an old-fashioned word that conjures up images of a couple sitting in a living room under the watchful eye of parents until the fella gets down on one knee and proposes. Song of Solomon 8:4 says, “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” In fact, this statement is repeated three times throughout the book Song of Solomon. Pursuing romantic intimacy before marriage is a real possibility opens you up to all kind of struggles. Involving your parents in your romantic relationships is a great way to honor them and to make sure that your plans for your love life line up with theirs.

Her parents want her to wait to be courted until she is at least 18 years old.

She wants to know the appropriate age to court, and also whether people are supposed to date or if they court. First, let me define the meaning of dating and then explain courtship.

In some religious communities, the two never speak to each other and the parents do the matchmaking.

Romanticism has put a particular glow on the whole idea of courting, with novels of authors such as Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters painting a picture of Victorian courtship practices.

Courtship crashed back onto the cultural landscape in a big way several years ago when Joshua Harris wrote the book These are good parameters. The heart of courtship is the notion that you won’t just date for fun but will pursue romance with marriage as an end goal. First Corinthians tells us to flee from sexual immorality. Limiting time alone is a great way to run from the temptation to get overly physical.

I’ve been around a lot of girls who court and a lot of families who want their children to court. Clearly, the basic principles of courtship are so important to living a lifestyle of purity.

Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel.

I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith!

Prior to that time, marriage always involved much more input from the parents, and "trial relationships" leading up to marriage were not conducted at all.

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