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Their lives aren’t built for it and they lack either the resources or the skills to maintain it. In other words, it means managing a man’s feelings so that he will jump when she tells him to. To him, the feelings can be anywhere on the spectrum, from “mildly interested” to crush to obsession.

And his feelings usually depend on how emotionally mature he is, how many options has, and how much experience he has in dealing with women.

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Two: You're "Checking In" at the restaurant where you've made dinner reservations? Nothing like telling 5,000 Facebook friends the location of your intimate rendezvous.

Three: Do not "friend" your date on Facebook before or after the initial meeting.

He tells himself how perfect he and a girl could be together, but he doesn’t really know her yet.

He tells himself how they have so much in common, but he’s overlooked all of their differences.

If you're not a good match (and dates are like new restaurants; about one in eight survive), you're both going to share that awkward moment of "Do I un-friend him or keep reading about his 'Why do I always meet losers? Four: Even though gay men love to label everyone, they despise being labeled.

So whether he's a Bear, Twink, Twunk, Cub, Daddy, Dilf, Otter, Chub, Gym Rat, Gym Bunny, or any of the other zillion names we give one another, only address him in generic terms, like handsome, sexy, hung.

"Please don't assume we're going to the nicest restaurant in the city because I won't take you there.

I'll take you to a dive bar with amazing burgers to see how you react.

There are two or three things that women do if they want to keep a man in orbit, and to engender feelings that create crushes and obsessions. But let’s stop for a moment and think about how his feelings for her develop.

And before we go any further, and before I begin to sound too much like a curmudgeonly, jaded misanthrope, I should say that I absolutely believe in love, romance, and holding hands. So back to crushes, obsessions, and the pain of a tortured romance: a man builds up a story in his own mind that isn’t matched by reality.

Contrary to popular belief, they do not all have red hair, fiery tempers, consume gallons of ale, and believe in leprechauns.

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